I have tremendous guilt....

Tonight I ate a few spoonfuls of a soup that contained chicken broth.

Here's why:

1. I've been feeling run-down for a while and it turns out I'm anemic. I don't get the iron I should and even an iron supplement didn't seem to be doing it

2. I'm on my way to diabetes... the med I take (Abilify) ups my blood sugar... not quite as bad as the Rispardal I took before, but it's bad enough. So I want to do a lower carb diet, and unfortunately, with some vegetarian protein sources being carb-heavy, this means lowering my protein too. I don't want to be diabetic, so I need a protein-rich, lower carb diet.... and my current diet isn't doing it.

3. The protein-rich foods I am eating don't seem to be doing enough... my hair is falling out again (you can't really tell, but it comes out bad in the shower). That's a sign something's wrong.

4. I'm afraid to be feeling this way AND pregnant.

So we're slowly introducing chicken, turkey, and fish (no red meat) back into our diets. First with chicken broth, then with soups with those things in it, then the real deal. We're also going to do free-range as much as we possibly can.

I had to weigh health vs. my feelings about animals. I'm sure many vegetarians are healthy, but I'm not. I was worse off when I was vegan, but things haven't gotten much better since I went back to ovo-lacto.

I hate myself.